Senior Care in East Haven, CT: Handling Relationship Boundaries with a Caregiver

Over a month ago, Jim’s father’s former senior care provider had finished the duration of care that was required. Jim’s father, Jim Sr. had suffered a heart attack and needed to work on his health and make a solid recovery. It took more than two months, a bit longer than was expected, and the senior home care provider had been with him throughout most of the day and into the evening five days a week.

She worked with him on his exercises, getting him to work out even when he didn’t feel like it. She had been there to talk to him and guide him through his depression. She had been there to make him many meals and was often the only person who had spent any real time with him. Jim and his sister didn’t live close to their father so being there on a regular basis was not a reasonable or feasible thing.

Jim had sat down and talked to the caregiver to let her know that Jim Sr. wasn’t going to require her services much longer. She was pleased that he had done so well and that his doctors believed that he was well on his way to being almost as healthy and strong as he had been years before the heart attack.

However, the senior home care provider didn’t stop calling, even after she no longer stopped by the house. At first, Jim noticed the calls on the caller ID when he visited. Then he pressed his father about them and Jim Sr. admitted that she called ‘all the time.’

When asked what for, Jim Sr. said he didn’t know, that she seemed to care about him and how he was doing. Jim Jr. believed that it was likely something else that was motivating her calls.

He finally called the caregiver and told her, as politely as he could, that it was time to stop calling, that she was harassing his father. She claimed that he called her, too, but Jim Sr. didn’t admit to that.

For some caregivers, they develop strong personal attachments to their patients. If you believe that a former senior care provider is overstepping the boundaries, especially after the care has ended, you need to talk to them and ask them politely to cease. However, if the patient wants them to call, it’s their decision, being an adult and of sound mind. You may not agree with it or like it, but always make sure that your elderly loved one wants this kind of arrangement before you try to put an end to it.